Sponty

They say curiosity killed the cat. What about spontaneity? What does that do?

I had a spontaneous little moment earlier, nothing cray. I just applied for a scheme which I can’t physically fit into my mental busy schedule for the next year and a half. Then I realised I have a schedule for A WHOLE YEAR AND A HALF.

In old people’s terms, (Like 28 upwards is old now) a year and a half, 18 months whatever you wanna say really isn’t long at all. But at the age of (nearly) 21, the fact that I have so long planned out with so much restriction is quite terrifying. Especially when I don’t know what I want to do.

So I graduate from my FdA in Brighton this year, to which I declined the offer to go to the ceremony at the end of July because I’m doing my top up year in Salford. Who has the money for the cap and gown when I could be graduating twice? Not me. But I don’t really want to go to uni.

I JUST WANNA BE FREE.

I want to run around the streets at 3am with a bottle of wine. I want to jet off to sunny destinations and pretend to shuffle to EDM. I wanna wear harem pants whilst I grow out my dreadlocks and reminisce about my GAP YAH.  

(Disclaimer: These are the most generic youth goals, not really mine)

To be honest, I don’t want to be tied down. I don’t want bills, money problems and routine because that’s what I will do when I’m older. However, I can’t afford a spontaneous lifestyle.

This is basically my current nightmare and I don’t know what to do. Any help is much appreciated.

xo