So I've decided I want to start blogging. Just randomly. Just stupid thoughts. I'll keep it light hearted, as much as I can.
Today, I've been thinking. ( I know, how dangerous of me.) I have come to the conclusion that I am lazy. I am. And to be honest, I have no shame. Well, maybe a little bit of shame but not enough for me to change my ways. But then I got lost in thought about what I do that makes me lazy and realised that there's a list. An actual LIST of things that make me lazy.
However, I know I'm not the only one who lives the lazy life. So I compiled my shitty little "List of Lazy" and realised how many other people are part of this guilty way of life with me. (I'm looking at you, Wildcats!)
1. At uni, I live like a King. I have an en-suite. So do all the rooms at good old Robby T. And, while this does have its downfalls, such as smelling your shits while you are in bed), it does mean that there is no queuing for a wee, no walking more than 5 steps from my bed, no one else's dirty pubes clinging on to the side, just mine. The mere thought of sharing a bathroom next year fills me with sadness. Partly because of the communal living, but mainly just because it means ill have to get out of bed, put clothes on, walk, maybe wait and lock the door all before I can enjoy my toilet time. HELL.
2. When I chose which uni to go to, the biggest thing that attracted me to UoB was that it's near the beach. (pebbled, but we cant have everything we want can we?) And the thought of shorts, sea and summer nights on the beach filled me with joy. When I finally moved there and realised my room was on the 3rd floor of a building with no lift, it limited my beach experience. I've only been to the beach about 5 times since September. 5 TIMES. Poor effort there Mr Hosker.
Granted, it isnt summer yet, but I know the sun shine isnt the best persuasion to make me part with 307.
3. We always make plans at uni, nights out, movie nights, shopping. Granted, I have cancelled on about 1/3 of all plans we have made. Not because the plan was shit, just because I had something better to do, like drink tea and get into the bed I left 30 minutes ago, watching Netflix and eating whatever food I could find. Not only do I cancel the plans, I use excuses that my mum would use to say no to her sisters, husbands best friends work mate's diamond wedding celebration, such as 'oh sorry, I'm baking a cake' or ' Soz love, I will probably be washing my hair'.
4. I have told myself it is acceptable to wear the same pyjamas for roughly 3 days straight so I don't feel guilty about not getting showered and changed. Tramp? I think so.
5. I actually have to set an alarm for afternoon lectures. Ones that dont even start until about 2. But I need to just "make sure" I'm up. Then the bastard alarm rings at half 12 and I still hit snooze.
6. When somebody asks me to go somewhere, because I'm such a social butterfly, I make sure they know the rule. 'If I have to walk there, it better be good'. I don't want to waste all the energy I'm 'conserving' to get to a shit party or a dead lecture.
7. Since moving away from home, I cook. I wish I could live like a proper student and just eat Pot Noodles, but I'm fat and need more. However, I rarely make food that requires me to do anything extra than chop or peel food. I only peel because I'm Northern and a life without potatoes (more than one kind for one meal) doesn't sound very appetising. That doesn't stop me eating Instant mash when I can't be bothered though. But when I'm flexing my Nigella knowledge, if there is an easy way, that IS the way.
8. Washing clothes. The two words are awful to hear. They make my soul shiver. Not only do I have to pay £3 to wash and dry my clothes at uni, plus the washing liquid, I also have to go up and down the stairs so many times, it hurts. Hand washing isn't exactly pleasurable either. This is why I have developed 'Emergency underwear'. You must have this as well? The horrible underwear that you tuck away until all your nice new pants are chucked in the corner with your vomit ridden shirt and sweaty tee's. When you get to your emergency underwear, you know you have to do washing. But before that, no stress. Best idea ever.
However, don't let anyone see your emergency underwear. that won't be pretty.
9. SORRY EARTH. I waste electricity. Not all the time, but I can't help if I forget things. Like, forgetting to turn the light off before bed and only remembering when you are warm and tucked in after you finish watching Despicable Me. But, who is gonna be hurt more by solving the problem? Me by getting out of my comfy spot and getting cold and having to walk and being sad, or mother earth who is a lot bigger than me and has people trying to recycle and renew everything all the time. I think I know who would be worse off. You do too.
This isn't the end of the list. it goes on. However, I'll conserve them because I don't want you to judge me anymore than you should. And if you are judging, you are either a hypocrite or a weirdo who likes to actually move, YOU LOSE.
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