But I'm a 90's bitch.

I realised how old I was last month when my niece didn’t know who Britney Spears was. Although she was my sister’s idol, not mine, she is still the musical ICON of the 90’s. The pink hair bobbles and her tied up shirt. Memories. Here’s my compilation of 90’s memorabilia.

1.       SM:TV Live. My Saturday mornings were taken over by this. It was beyond the best kids TV show. Ant and Dec being losers. Dec and Cat Deeley’s non-existent but definitely exciting love for each other. Wonky Donkey. Challenge Ant where they won CD’s. And shitty Pokémon that I hated. It was all the best. And it was sponsored by Tizer. I loved Tizer. (They still have it, I know but it’s not nice now)

2.       Push Pops- Best lollies ever. If you had one of these, you were deffo being good.

3.       Watching Super Market Sweep every day before half day at nursery. Dale and his inflatable banana. Oh the joys.

4.       Tamagotchi’s – I don’t remember having one of my own but my sisters had them and killed them after a bit.

5.       Skaelxtric – these were the best toys ever. Throwback to when Kelly was helping me set it up and plugged it in before we finished it, leant on it and got electrocuted. Then my mum made me throw it out. Harsh.

6.       Definitely the biggest scandal that has ever happened is increasing the price of Freddo’s. Making these tiny little treats go up a whole extra 10p over the years is heart-breaking.

7.       Bad Girls. Now, my mum isn’t a bad mum. But letting me watch Bad Girls when I was about 6 has to be a sign of bad parenting.

8.       Nickelodeon – From Rugrats to Sister Sister. Kenan and Kel to Hey Arnold. Nickelodeon had the best programmes hands down.

9.       The evil things you done as a kid – You could be the best child a mother could ask for, but I bet you still done something bad. Something that haunts you everytime there is a family gathering. Sorry again Siobhan, for breaking your glasses. But you deffo deserved it. (I can’t remember what you did, probably nothing. But it wasn’t my fault)

10.   Playing Snake on Nokia bricks. Enough Said.

11.   We’re going on a Bear Hunt and The Gruffalo was the best story you had ever heard. Nursery jam.

12.   You dreamed of having the complete collection of hardback Disney Books that were perfect. In reality, you had 3. One was The Rescuers Down Under that you hated, the other got lost and the third had scribbles all over it.

13.   S Club 7 and Steps were the Saturday night floor fillers.

14.   You created dance routines and music video’s to the above band’s greatest hits.

15.   BN Biscuits were you fave. But your mum only bought them every so often. So you settled for Clubs (No raisins). And if you was desperate, Wagon Wheels.

16.   Crash Bandicoot and Spyro the Dragon owned the video games. In some cases, Sonic the Hedgehog on SEGA Megadrive. Classics.

17.   Art Attack inspired you to be the next Van Gogh. Apparently I was the only one who used to grab all the towels and sheets from the towel cupboard and try to make ‘A Big Art Attack’ on the landing.

18.   Teletubbies. You had a favourite. And everyone wanted Teletubby custard and the toast with those smiley faced bastards on it. I went one step further and had a Teletubby bed spread and a Po onesie, with a complete head piece. I still remember the night my mum gave that away to her friend’s kid. Hurting.

19.   You wanted to have your birthday read out on Milkshake with a homemade card but it didn’t. You still got nervous every year though in case it was a surprise and you was gonna be famous.

20.   Polly Pockets were a sign you had been successful in childhood.

21.   You teased yourself by looking in the Argos Catalogue and wanting everything. Especially the Wendy Houses and the big slides/climbing frames/inflatable pools and your mum always said no.

22.   You wanted to go to after school club. You hated being at school but for some reason, staying later to play games with those evil dinner ladies seemed like so much fun. I asked my mum if I could go once and she said ‘Only kids who’s mums don’t love them go to after school clubs’. That is so horrible.

23.   You sang all of the lyrics to City High’s ‘What would you do?’ and didn’t have a clue what the lyrics meant. (Don’t actually know if it was 90’s but I was too young for it.)

24.   Mary-Kate and Ashley were the girl’s inspirations and were the reasons they wore those pink jelly shoes with dungarees. Fit.

25.   Golf Balls were the best chewing gum ever. Only beaten by Bubaloo.

26.   Your mum got mad if you scuffed up your Kickers at school.

27.   You still have nightmares of bath time. Water in your eyes, getting your scalp pulled out when your mum was checking for nits, knowing it was nearly bed time. Horrible. But nothing worse than L’Oreal thinking they could make you blind with their No Tears shampoo. Bastards.

28.   You had a favourite Spice Girl and a favourite Power Ranger.

29.   You was over the moon when you wrote a full page at school and made sure the teacher noticed. And was horrified if she didn’t give you a gold star stamp there and then.

30.   Car journeys were all made better when you, your dad and your sisters would dance in unison to Oasis and Blur.

31.   PlayDoh was magic until you mixed the colours and it went brown, then left it to go crusty.

32.   The Never Ending Story really never ended. Or it felt like it anyway. You didn’t really understand what was happening either. (This one might just be me, but I don’t know)

33.   Getting round the garden in your Little Tykes Car picking up hoes was part of your daily routine.

34.   McDonald’s was definitely more special back then. And it was only £1.99 for a Happy Meal. We kept it old school too. You had either a burger or chicken nuggets. Always with chips, never fruit.  And it was either a milkshake or coke. None of this Tropicana for babies. Oh no.

35.   You hated yourself because you could never win Operation.

36.   Goosebumps and Are You Afraid of the Dark were the scariest things you ever watched.

37. Jelly aliens.

38. In a few years, thhe snotty nosed kids of today will probably be blogging about life as a 10's kid with iPads and Horrid Henry. Ew.

Here's a picture of a happy elephant just to make you smile. xo.