No one knows what that means, it's PROCRASTINATE.

Hey, well it’s nearly May. And in the education system that basically means hell.

Yeah, I may only be in my first year at uni and have just 3 modules to do work for, but I still like to make myself feel like I have SOOOO much work to do. Because I do. Maybe if I didn’t keep holding it off until the weekend…  and then the Easter holidays… and then tomorrow morning… and then right now, but oh wait, I can’t do it right now because I’m currently blogging about how I can’t do work. Shit happens.

Basically, I’ve become the Procrastination King and here is a list of how you know you take the title.

You’re constantly hungry.

Ok, yeah. I always eat food. I just can’t ever get full. But when you know you have work to do, it isn’t just a cheeky biscuit you have. You feel like you should cook a 5 course meal and spend about 5 hours doing so because if you want to concentrate, you need to eat.  But oh look, it’s now 7 o clock and you told yourself that you would reward yourself for all your hard work you did by watching Emmerdale.

Cleaning is the best.

Yeah, I know that I have 3 hours and 23 minutes until I reach the deadline for that script I got given 2 months ago but I was just watching Kim and Aggy cleaning and now, I basically want to be them! I might not have passed that assignment but my toilet looks clean and smells like lemon. Silver linings?

If your stuff isn’t organised, your mind won’t be organised.

I was just about to sit down and do that reading for tomorrow but then I couldn’t concentrate because I have 487 pictures on my computer that all have to be put into little files so that when I come to find that sexy selfie for my new profile pic I can easily find it. Oh, and all the food in my cupboards, needs to be put in order of tins, boxes and packets. And, I can’t forget about my DVD’s, if they aren’t in alphabetical order, it will just look untidy. But I can do my reading when that’s sorted. Oh shit. The draw my book was in to do the reading was full of paperwork and I couldn’t leave it like that. Whoa, how did it get to 8pm? Way too late to read. Soz.

Social media is your best friend. And your worst enemy.

I can’t just log out of Facebook and do work because if my bestie uploads a picture while I’m trying to learn some stuff and I don’t like it within approximately 22 minutes then there’s a possibility that we might not be friends anymore. And who wants to be smart but with no friends? Nobody, exactly. Also, it’s great because it lets you vent about how much work you haven’t done in 140 characters.

  Clean body, clean mind.

Bath’s never felt so good. So good that you need 3 a day and 2x 30 minute showers as well. Then when you have those cosy PJ’s on, you will be able to start working.

You go to those events you can’t stand.

What? Football is on at the pub? Mate, I am a #LAD therefore, if I'm not down the pub watching the footie, I won’t be a #LAD. “COME ON LADS, KICK IT! THAT COULD'VE BEEN A HOLE IN ONE!!”

Netflix, are you the devil?

It’s hard to study a media course without having Netflix. It’s a wealth of TV and film at your fingertips.  So, technically, watching Netflix = studying. However, you said you would only watch one episode of Gossip Girl and you’ve just finished the 7^th. I BLAME YOU 15 SECOND COUNTDOWN!

ALCOHOL IS STUDY POISON.

Basically, if you go to uni and prioritise work over drinking, you might as well just scream social suicide. Everyone likes a night out every OTHER DAY or so. But if you’re going on a night out, you have to get ready at like 6pm, just because it’s a rule. Then you predrink. Then you finally go out and struggle to get home. You sleep. You wake up. You sleep some more and wallow in vomit and self-pity. Then you realise you missed both lectures that day and it’s somehow 6pm again. Time to start getting ready.

Disclaimer: Bit exaggerated, I have no stamina. Therefore if I’ve been drinking the night before, don’t even ask me to blink never mind go on another night out.

So there you have it. I’ve just procrastinated tell you how I procrastinate. I’ve definitely hit a new low.